Nutty Professor

This semester I am enrolled in Music 100 (Music Appreciation); I thought this was going to be a boring class, I was wrong. For the first few weeks we would come in and the professor (Dr. Cook) would lecture for 75 minutes on the topic for the day, but recently the professor has started class with a 30 minute lecture on the way the world really is. Let me bring you up to speed...

Here is what I have learned so far:

• The Russians are experimenting with viruses they can shoot into the upper atmosphere to rain down on the United States
• The Russians want to bring down the Dollar and replace it with the Euro.
• We invaded Iraq because that country had switched from the Dollar to the Euro.
• OPEC wants to change the world over to the Euro so the US will become a poor country like Mexico
• South Korea has 2 billion dollars and will sell them all off flooding the money market and making the dollar worthless.
  
• We are not allied with the British because we like them or because we speak the same language or because we have a similar history, we are allied with them because following the American Revolutionary war our country was greatly in dept to the Bank of England and the Bank of England has forced us into an alliance with that country.
• The Federal Reserve is a private company that is controlled by the Rothschild family; the Federal Reserve does not work for the interest of US citizens.
• US President Kennedy tried to abolish the Federal Reserve Board and was assassinated because of his attempt to do so.
  
• The Russians caused the tsunami.
• The Russians are using atomic energy to warn the worlds oceans to disrupt the US economy.
• Alan Greenspan is working against American interests.

That is the short version, he had a long complex theory that wove all of those points together. I took this class thinking I was going to learn about music, I had no idea I was also going to get a crash course in crack house conspiracy theories.